Blessings in Obedience

Recently i've been given a task, a task that is not only extremely hard; but one that i've been avoiding for a while now. You know how GOD is patient and amazing all the time. Well, he was very patient with me, let me run my own course into destruction that is totally my fault. He watched and waited for me to turn to him and ask for him to take control. Well finally i broke down like us humans do, i realized i was walking away from the path of righteousness that i have so heavily been determined to follow. I ignored my convictions, and i'm now paying for it.

But the amazing thing, is that when GOD so clearly spoke to me and gave me the solution; though i didn't like the solution because it wasn't what i wanted, he blessed me today in so many ways because i was obedient to it. Today was great; Yesterday i was DREADING today. I cant help but Praise Him for such a great day. The weather was absolutely stunning. I had a great day at work, laughed a lot! (Which i did not expect to be doing much of that today) I felt so alive and free. What an AMAZING and FAITHFUL GOD we have!

I had to share my blessings with you. I am so encouraged. I still feel like an idiot for continuing on with something that i knew was wrong. But i am so grateful for the lesson of Obedience and that i need to listen immediately, rather than when i want to.

I LOVE MY GOD!

Trials

In the stillness of my mind the LORD spoke to me about trials. I was super encouraged; thought i would share with you.

"In this life you have been given many trials. In these trials rejoice; for the LORD has entrusted you with them so that you will succeed in bringing him Glory. Not that you should fail. If however; you do fail, the LORD will not be disappointed. But make haste. For the LORD will give you the strength you need to succeed!"

Finding Hope in scripture

Yesterday was super rough for me. So at College Group Nick Fox gave me scripture. I wanted to share it cause i was very encouraged by it! :) Hope you enjoy!

¹I am the man who has seen affliction
by the rod of the LORD’s wrath.
² He has driven me away and made me walk
in darkness rather than light;
³ indeed, he has turned his hand against me
again and again, all day long.

⁴ He has made my skin and my flesh grow old
and has broken my bones.
⁵ He has besieged me and surrounded me
with bitterness and hardship.
⁶ He has made me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.

⁷ He has walled me in so I cannot escape;
he has weighed me down with chains.
⁸ Even when I call out or cry for help,
he shuts out my prayer.
⁹ He has barred my way with blocks of stone;
he has made my paths crooked.

¹⁰ Like a bear lying in wait,
like a lion in hiding,
¹¹ he dragged me from the path and mangled me
and left me without help.
¹² He drew his bow
and made me the target for his arrows.

¹³ He pierced my heart
with arrows from his quiver.
¹⁴ I became the laughingstock of all my people;
they mock me in song all day long.
¹⁵ He has filled me with bitter herbs
and given me gall to drink.

¹⁶ He has broken my teeth with gravel;
he has trampled me in the dust.
¹⁷ I have been deprived of peace;
I have forgotten what prosperity is.
¹⁸ So I say, “My splendor is gone
and all that I had hoped from the LORD.”

¹⁹ I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
²⁰ I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
²¹ Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
²⁷ It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.

²⁸ Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.
²⁹ Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.
³⁰ Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.

³¹ For no one is cast off
by the Lord forever.
³² Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
³³ For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to anyone.

³⁴ To crush underfoot
all prisoners in the land,
³⁵ to deny people their rights
before the Most High,
³⁶ to deprive them of justice—
would not the Lord see such things?

³⁷ Who can speak and have it happen
if the Lord has not decreed it?
³⁸ Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
that both calamities and good things come?
³⁹ Why should the living complain
when punished for their sins?

⁴⁰ Let us examine our ways and test them,
and let us return to the LORD.
⁴¹ Let us lift up our hearts and our hands
to God in heaven, and say:
⁴² “We have sinned and rebelled
and you have not forgiven.

⁴³ “You have covered yourself with anger and pursued us;
you have slain without pity.
⁴⁴ You have covered yourself with a cloud
so that no prayer can get through.
⁴⁵ You have made us scum and refuse
among the nations.

⁴⁶ “All our enemies have opened their mouths
wide against us.
⁴⁷ We have suffered terror and pitfalls,
ruin and destruction.”
⁴⁸ Streams of tears flow from my eyes
because my people are destroyed.

⁴⁹ My eyes will flow unceasingly,
without relief,
⁵⁰ until the LORD looks down
from heaven and sees.
⁵¹ What I see brings grief to my soul
because of all the women of my city.

⁵² Those who were my enemies without cause
hunted me like a bird.
⁵³ They tried to end my life in a pit
and threw stones at me;
⁵⁴ the waters closed over my head,
and I thought I was about to perish.

⁵⁵ I called on your name, LORD,
from the depths of the pit.
⁵⁶ You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears
to my cry for relief.”
⁵⁷ You came near when I called you,
and you said, “Do not fear.”

⁵⁸ You, Lord, took up my case;
you redeemed my life.
⁵⁹ LORD, you have seen the wrong done to me.
Uphold my cause!
⁶⁰ You have seen the depth of their vengeance,
all their plots against me.

⁶¹ LORD, you have heard their insults,
all their plots against me—
⁶² what my enemies whisper and mutter
against me all day long.
⁶³ Look at them! Sitting or standing,
they mock me in their songs.

⁶⁴ Pay them back what they deserve, LORD,
for what their hands have done.
⁶⁵ Put a veil over their hearts,
and may your curse be on them!
⁶⁶ Pursue them in anger and destroy them
from under the heavens of the LORD.

Life :)

Gunna give an update on things Brittany. :)

Ive been at Starbucks for almost 2 months now. I absolutely LOVE it :) It is super fun and super stressful at times but its always interesting and gives me lots of good stories. Today i was dared by some co-workers to stick my hand in a pitcher full of ice and water.... I basically rocked it for 13 minutes! Im hard core :) My hand was numb for like 10 minutes after and super red. I love the people i work with, They are awesome! So it makes the job way more enjoyable. But also i am surrounded by people all the time which makes it way more interesting. :) People crack me up!!

Pool cleaning has reached its easy stages... PRAISE GOD!!! After the freeze i was pretty ready to call it quits but i didn't wanna let my Daddy down so i stuck with it like a hoss... Basically i enjoy the fact that i get to be outside a lot, Not crazy about the driving EVERYWHERE and since Texas is so flippin huge it takes me forever to get to my jobs. But GOD has blessed me with beautiful weather these past few weeks so i am super grateful for it!

I miss the foster kids like Crazy. I dont cry every time i think about them which is a great thing. But i they are still on my mind everyday and i wonder how they are. Rumor has it that they are adjusting very well to their new home which is another HUGE blessing and i am soooo grateful for that too! :) GOD is faithful.

Basically things are not as bad as i make them out to be at times. The Lord has definitely blessed me this year with helping me stay positive. Seriously it has been a great year so far in the midst of everything that has been going on.

I said it before and ill say it again... GOD is Good and super Faithful and Amazing and just GREAT! :) I dont deserve him but i am super glad he never leaves my side!

Positively Lovely

2011 is in its 2nd Month! Wow how fast this new year has already been going by. At the beginning of the year i took a 30 Day challenge with KLOVE radio and listened to ONLY christian music for a whole month. During that month i went through major music mood swings, i loved that station and then i hated it. Sometimes i just turned my radio off because i didnt want to hear the same song again. Then other times i was super encouraged by the stories, and i loved how people shared their life stories on the radio. And after about 2 weeks i was addicted! I looked forward to hearing all the great stories about how GOD Wowed people. And hearing the testimonies of how GOD worked in all these peoples lives. I also had a chance to challenge myself in a new way this year. What KLOVE has been doing for the past couple years is that by the end of January you pick a word for yourself that you want to live by for that year. Well i had no idea they did that until this year so i accepted the challenge.

And my word is

POSITIVE

So far its been good. I have been trying hard to find the good in every situation and though i know that 2011 is just beginning; and there will be many trials that fall on my path. I am looking forward to beating negativity and becoming a more positive person :)

Growin up

This past tuesday is 3 weeks of living on my own. So far it has been FANTASTIC! Ive loved most every minute. It has opened the door to a lot more responsibility and stuff like that. I have learned a little about myself but i look forward to all the other lessons that are going to come my way. Life has been CRAZY lately though, i have something every single day of the week which makes of a lot of exhaustion, but at least im never bored. :)

Starbucks has been fantastic. Everyday i can see myself getting better at it. Though i have not mastered that job by any means i feel less like an idiot and more like i kinda have an idea how to successfully do my job! I also love my co-workers. I work with some awesome peeps! :)

Derek and Amber are Engaged!!!!! So wedding planning here i come :) Of course Lauren and Jonathan are engaged too and both of their weddings are this fall, so i have a lot of showers to plan, gifts to buy, Appointments to make, pictures to take and everything else that comes with weddings! But i am loving every minute of it... And i am totally using this as a learning experience for what NOT to do and what TO do for my wedding :) Yayyyyy!!! I am so grateful for the amazing future sister in law that GOD has blessed me with. She is also a great room mate and we have gotten a lot closer in these past 3 weeks! We spend lots of time together... lots of time... i mean a lot. Like tons.

The kiddos leaving was hard, especially since it happened right after i left home so it was kind of a shock for a bit but like everything else in my life GOD brought me through it and i am a lot stronger and better off because of it. Though i miss them a lot and think of them every single day i know that GOD has them in his hands and they are safe and deeply loved! So that gives me peace.

Overall life has definitely improved! It really is amazing how much a person changes with added responsibility.

Im lovin every minute of this journey :)

End of a Story and the beginning of lots of tears!

The kiddos left today. I have to admit this morning i forgot that they were leaving today. I moved out into my own place Feb 1st and took a second Job as a Starbucks Barista. So a long with the crazy busy schedule of juggling 2 jobs as well as a social life i have had little time for rest and a lot of running errands and taking care of my responsibilities as an adult. Weird... I am considered a legit adult now. Anyways, i had the opening shift this morning at the good ol' coffee shop, My babies left forever at 9:30, my shift was until 11... Therefore i knew that i wasnt going to be there so we had a goodbye dinner last night at Red Robin. Got the kiddos Ice Cream and i took about 10 minutes kissing and holding them tightly, just cherishing every second of our final moments together. Thankfully i praised GOD for at least being able to say goodbye. Then today came... After the busy morning and most of the exhaustion left my body i remembered... I called my mom and she explained the morning to me in between sobs. She was so great with them. Though she will never admit that; i saw the love and grace she poured out upon those angels with my own eyes. I will never forget the sacrifices she made for them. She gave up so much to love and raise those babies that should never have left their birth mother in the first place. I hope that someday i can be 1/2 the mother that my mom was to them. I learned a great deal from her! What an amazing woman; i have been blessed! It didnt hit me until about 11:15 after talking to my mom. When i realized i was never going to see my little Jazzy again. I was never going to hear her call my name (Bernie as she would say). I was never going to see Ariel wabble over to me only as fast as a 1 year old can walk. I would never feel her squeeze my neck when i picked her up. And i would never get to listen to Clifford stumble through his books or ask ridiculous questions about things that dont matter or hear him laugh. Its the little things that i am going to miss the most. I have their smiles implanted in my head. I cant get their giggles or voices out of my head. My heart is breaking.

But i wont lose hope. I know that this is the time to be praising GOD for the amazing moments and memories that i will never forget. The experience of a lifetime to watch those kids grow. I should be thanking him for being so merciful to my family and to those kids!

It still doesnt make saying goodbye any easier! Please pray for my family! Pray for the kids.